Businesses need to become comfortable having bold and inclusive conversations
Polarizing conversations are happening in homes, virtual offices and across social media; it is becoming increasingly obvious to employees when business leaders elect to avoid commenting on important subjects such as racial equality or Trans rights. Businesses can no longer afford to remain silent on the topic of Diversity and Inclusion.
It is critical to provide all colleagues with the tools and platforms to enable bold and inclusive conversations.
Understanding how to have an open and honest dialogue regarding a difficult subject is one example of a skill that colleagues are not typically provided with. Tips to support these conversations include:
1. Listen to understand, not to respond or defend.
Often we are simply waiting to take our turn to speak or focused on what to say next instead of listening actively. As a result, we cannot truly learn or empathise and begin to understand alternative viewpoints. In particular, terms such as “white privilege” can cause discomfort for some, but are you willing or able to move past that discomfort and listen to the underlying message without firstly shutting down? This is hard and does not come naturally to most but we should all try.
Helping to host inclusive conversations may be a way to connect with your employees. Listening intently to colleagues from minority communities helps to establish and build mutual trust, ensuring two-way dialogue and that your effort is worthwhile.
2. Ask open ended questions.
This has the benefit of prompting a longer response versus a “yes or no” answer; for example, “are you a racist?” versus “Can you tell me your thoughts on racial equality?” This opens up a dialogue. Using terms such as “How does that make you feel?” or “Why have you come to that conclusion?” may be perceived as less accusatory versus “What do you mean by that?”
3. Acknowledge that you can only speak on behalf of yourself.
Your experiences are unique and may not reflect those of your peers. When having polarising conversations, try to stick to using “I” rather than speaking on behalf of others. Using phrases such as “we feel” may result in tangential questions such as “who does” or how do you know that”, but they cannot argue with your own experiences.
Furthermore, using “I” can also soften questions and remove the accusatory tone. For example, “I am struggling to understand can I ask you explain it in more detail?” versus “You don’t make sense, what are you trying to say?”
4. Consider the environment.
Polarising conversations may not be entirely comfortable, but creating a suitable environment can help with this. For example, can you hold the conversation somewhere away from a larger group, and ideally set up for side-to-side conversation, such as walking, which feels less intense versus a face to face meeting? Consider if a neutral third party is needed to act as an intermediary. Finally, check your body language and tone of voice. Can you regulate negative emotion in your voice or shift out of defensive postures? Building trust is imperative and this can help support this.
5. Ask for patience whilst you learn.
People should be able to make mistakes, provided that they are willing to be vulnerable, accept those mistakes and learn from them. A misspoken term, whether through outdated practices or lack of awareness, does not equate to a bad person. We need to help our colleagues move from the safe zone, where it is safe for them, but may not be for others, into the brave zone, where they can learn from and seek experiences different from their own.
You can be the catalyst that makes a difference in someone’s learning journey; let’s use the tools available to us to make it a positive impact.